Understanding the fundamental difference between aggression and assertion is important especially as a manager, but critical to being a human.
Aggression – (psychol) a hostile or destructive mental attitude or behaviour
Assertion -> asserting – to state with assurance, confidence, or force; affirm; aver:
Being assertive is firm, often will come from a place of confidence; knowing you are correct and standing firm to that belief. Aggressive is often from a place of feeling intimidated and threatened; it is often not controlled and can cause huge amounts of disaster.
As I mentioned previously in the article Importance of Communication, we need to manage our perception and how we are understood or misunderstood by others. You might always think you are right and you might be the boss, but your team might have a different view which links back to my Black and White article. We shouldn’t allow things to escalate, and turn into aggressive behaviour out of fear that your team don’t trust you.
You can express your decision with an assertion that you believe your view is in the best interest for the company, and explain your reasons. It is important to accept that we are all accountable in a team for a win or lose, so it’s important your team knows the reasons why they are doing a certain action.
Leaders are questioned all the time, look at politicians; as citizens we want them to justify their actions, their decisions. Sometimes we want them to make an explanation for a choice in their personal life which could impact their professional etiquette. So why do we think as a manager we are above this level of accountability?
Being assertive is maintaining control of your feelings and being firm, it’s not to evoke fear and submission from your team; this is a boss style where you dictate to your staff what they will or won’t do which might get some results in the short term, but when you need help people might not offer their spare time.
Being a leader is to understand, to not see tiers of management and ‘common folk’; to encourage your staff and to guide and challenge them to be better. Look at my Sport of Business article, if we adopt these methods and processes and act like a sports team we might find our teams become more focused and productive.
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